Unitarians Make Halloween Official Church Holiday

BOSTON, MA - The Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations announced on Monday that it has decided to make Halloween an official church holiday.

According to Spokesperson Madeline Kay-Harris, "We at the UUA believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. Unlike most Christian denominations, when we say every, we mean every. We do not play favorites. Jesus Himself warned against favoritism in James 2:1-4, saying, 'My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, "You sit here in a good place," and say to the poor man, "You stand there," or, "Sit here at my footstool," have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?'"

Because of this philosophy, the UUA has decided to embrace Halloween in the hopes of attracting those from the ghoul-goblin crowd. UUA youth pastor Greg Jeffress told TBNN, "Jesus Himself, who we do not follow, clearly said to go into the world and preach the gospel to ALL creation. We want to do this. We want to welcome into our congregations those who have been shunned by other churches. Who are we to tell them to change?"

Some within the UUA have spoken anonymously about the need to be careful about embracing this new demographic. A pastor of a UUA congregation near Worchester, MA, secretly told us, "We want to be open to Satan-worshipers and the like, but we are somewhat intimidated. It is important for us to be tolerant of the blood, gore, knives, and dead puppies. However, we are concerned that some of the more intolerant among us will get scared and not attend our meetings."

Because of these concerns, the UUA is meeting in Boston next week to discuss how its congregations can both welcome, for example, wearwolves and vampires and also keep its people safe.

According to Kay-Harris, "We must find a balance between sorcery and safety, between beheadings and being safe, between sacrifices and serenity. This is our goal. We are embracing Halloween. We are just going to have to learn how to deal with these changes."