First "We're Not A Church" of Baton Rouge

Baton Rouge, LA -- "We're not a Church," explained senior non-pastor Alvin Winters. "We do not want to be mistaken for a church. We do not meet in a church. We do not have members like a church. We simply get together and express the possibility of a god, whomever he or she might or might not be."

Most of the time, the First We're Not A Church of Baton Rouge does not even meet on Sunday morning. "We sing or rap anytime," said non-minister of music Samuel Gladstone. "Common times for gathering are Monday through Thursday from 10 to midnight. Many people feel they are better able to get to the heart of expressing the god within themselves in the later evenings."

Wendy Peabody, the youth non-leader, thinks it's very important to explicitly denounce the word "church" to attract today's younger crowd. "Some places do not use the word 'church' on the marquee, using simple names such as 'The Gathering Place' or 'Winthrope's Village.' That can be misleading. Such places are actually churches attempting to disguise their true churchness. But at First We're Not A Church of Baton Rouge, everyone knows we are not a church. There is no misunderstanding."

Though our slogan is 'Let's Just Have a Conversation' there's no obligation to speak," added Alvin. "We commonly conversate without words by feeling each others touch non-physically. So...why don't you drop by some non-Sunday for some non-School?"