Obama Explains Election Process

DALLAS, TX - Barack Obama, the front-runner for the Democratic Party nomination for president of the United States, recently addressed a supportive crowd in Texas. As he spoke, the senator from Illinois took some time to explain to the Texans just how be believes election works.

According to Obama, "I see a time coming in Texas when the great people of this state will rise up together in unity. We can all sense wonderful times ahead. We can achieve peace, harmony, and prosperity if we all work together. Yes, we have some minor differences, but don't worry about that. If you desire great change and great surprises, then anoint me to represent the Democratic party in November's election.

"Speaking of the election, I'd like to take just a minute to explain to you exactly how the process of election works. You may not realize just what it means to elect someone. You may be thinking that if you elect someone, that means you are actually choosing him or her. When you pull the lever in the voting booth, you may assume that you are actually picking out that person for something special. However, that cannot be the case because it wouldn't be fair to the people you didn't vote for. For example, if you simply elected me, that wouldn't be fair to Hillary. The same is true the other way around. After all, we both want to be president.

"This is what election really means: when you go to the polls, you are actually looking far into the future. You are then realizing which candidate would choose you. Then you are electing them based upon what you saw occur in the future. This may sound tricky and complicated, but, trust me, it's how the system works.

"Know this, my Texan friends, I would choose you. Therefore, it would be unfair if you didn't elect me. Also, once you make up your mind, please don't change it. Hillary doesn't believe as I do - she thinks this election has been rigged from the start. She keeps talking about how she just isn't being treated fairly. My guess is that people realize she wouldn't pick them."

TBNN was on the scene for this historic speech. Afterwards, several Dallas residents looked confused. We asked Mr. Bubba (Tex) Simmons what he thought of Obama. "Well, he seems like a nice guy. I don't know much about him, but I'll probably vote for him anyway. The only thing that bothered me is that I used to think I knew what it meant to elect someone. To elect means to choose based on what I want. To look into the future and see if he would choose me? That just seems doggone silly."