Pope's Radical Call for Peace Shocks World

Vatican City - On Sunday during traditional Easter celebrations at St. Peter's Basilica Pope Benedict XVI shocked the World by calling for "peace." During his homily the Pope took the opportunity to make statements some have considered "historical" and "unprecedented," calling for peace in Iraq, Tibet and the Holy Land. He also took the opportunity to make other profound statements denouncing hatred, violence and injustice, causing many in attendance to repent upon hearing his words. World leaders also hailed the call as "an historical moment in the history of mankind."

"It is clear to me now as it has never been before" said Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez during his weekly television broadcast to his nation. "All this time I've been trying to rally this country against the United States and its allies, but I've been wrong. As the Pope said, we simply need to be at peace and stop being selfish. These are wise words. Let's just stop being selfish and hateful. I don't know why we didn't think of it before."

After his television address Chavez lived up to his own words by sending President Bush a dozen roses and a CD of Bette Midler's greatest hits. President Bush responded by saying, "I appreciate this show of friendship and commerraderany between our two nations."

Other world leaders reacted similarly to the Pope's words. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad issued a full apology to Israel for anything negative he has said in the past, expressing a desire to enter into full diplomatic relations with the country. North Korean President Kim Jong Il immediately relinquished power and turned full control of North Korea over to the South Korean government. And Chinese leaders denounced communism releasing all political prisoners and granted Tibet full independence. And for the first time that anyone can remember Israelis an Palestinians simply put aside their differences and embraced in the streets while singing "That's What Friends are For."

"All this time it was so simple" said Fidel Castro, former President of Cuba in a commentary published in a Havana newspaper. "All we simply had to do was stop being mean, selfish and hateful, and suddenly world peace breaks out. Oh if I'd only known years ago, nay decades ago that we as humans simply possessed within ourselves the ability to just stop doing what is wrong and live in perfect peace with one another. How many lives could have been spared the pain."