Pope Says Protestant Blogs are not "Real" Blogs

VATICAN CITY - In July, Pope Benedict XVI declared that Christian communities outside the Roman Catholic Faith are not real churches. Read more about that by clicking here.

Today the Pope took his agenda to an even further stage by declaring that Protestant blogs are not "real" blogs. In a move not even predicted by the body of Cardinals, the Pope released a statement to the press that reads, "The Mother Roman Church is the source of all truth and light in this world. Therefore, a blogger has to be affiliated with the Catholic faith in order to post anything truthful or of real substance. By definition, then, all Protestant blogs must not be real blogs. In fact, many of them are what we would call false blogs."

The reaction was swift and strong from prominent Protestant bloggers. For example, Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, told TBNN, "This is another example of the Pope's desire to set up the Catholic Church as the one true faith. He is further alienating himself from Protestants who would like to work with Catholics to serve our communities. He is taking us back to before Vatican II."

In this latest Papal Bull, named Exsurge Bloggerae, Pope Benedict claimed that Roman Catholic salvation is based on a combination of faith and the sacraments. This is because, "God needs our cooperation in these acts of grace, shown by us when we partake of the wine and cookie." He stated that Protestant salvation is based on faith alone, which is "ridiculous."

The Vatican has previously listed several blog topics that it encourages Catholics all around the world to read about. According to Pope Benedict, "We desire that Catholic bloggers read and post about our key doctrines and practices such as the Mother Goddess, the Eucharist, Purgatory, prayers to the saints, prayers for the dead, the blessings of repeating the Rosary 666 times, and, of course, Papal infallibility."

Benedict went on, in his bull, to name several Protestant blogs in particular that are of extreme concern to the Roman Church. As certain writings were banned in the past (Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, and, oh yes, the Bible), certain blogs have now been banned to all members of the Catholic faith.

TBNN has learned that the banned blogs, which have all within the last day received a sharp upward spike in number of hits, are the worst in the eyes of the Pope. He has deemed them the Sinister Seven. The 7 are: Al Mohler, Desiring God, Founders Ministries, Provocations and Pantings, TBNN (naturally), Tom's Blog, and Elder Eric's blog.

Another list of the next seven banned blogs may be released on January 1st. Our sources tell TBNN that there may even be an Arminian blog on the new list. Stay tuned for details.