Selasa, 19 Agustus 2008

Episcopal Church Considers Ordaining Straight Male Clergy

Newark, NJ - Representatives of the Episcopal Church USA announced on Monday plans to begin allowing the ordination of straight males within the denomination. The news was received with mixed results within the denomination, but many reacted favorably to the news.

"I personally think it's wonderful," said Rev. Patricia Lauden-Phat-Wilkenson. "It's important that our denomination be seen as one that welcomes people from all walks of life, even straight males. They're no different from any of us really. They just want to serve God, and who are we to say they cannot fulfill that calling because of their gender or sexual orientation."

But while some celebrated the news, others were disappointed in the announcement and are already planning to voice protests.

"It's despicable," said Rev. Allison Porter-House-Nichols. "Our denomination is going to the dogs. If they start allowing the ordination of straight males, who knows what they'll allow next, like freaks who use the Bible."

Porter-House-Nichols went on to further state that she plans to stage a 1 hour "hunger strike" this Friday evening at 11:00PM at her parish in Newark to protest the decision.

"We plan to let those in charge know that we're not pleased with this decision," she stated. "If we need to we'll plan as many of these 1 hour hunger strikes that we need to in order to get our point across."

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